My first (and only) blog post before this one took me about 10 months to write… I would jot down memories and phrases as they’d come to me. On sticky notes, in my journal, on my phone, laptop, backs of old receipts. I had plenty of doubts that it would all come together as something whole and relatable. I’ve gotten some wonderful feedback about that first post, my birth story. Posting it and making this page live was somewhat like birth, a big step in the direction of creating a new way of being in the world.
I can’t say I’m surprised that it’s taken until now to post a second. Winter was long, as it tends to be in Central New York, and every time I thought about what to write I felt cynical and heavy. Not that I’m against sharing that side of myself, my wheels just weren’t turning fast enough to write something I wanted to share.
When I think back to the cold, dark silence of Winter, I can remember reminding myself that in April we’d hear the peepers again, that in May the plants would sprout new leaves and my own energy would return with the buzzing of the bumblebees, plentiful now as the flowers pop and turn their heads toward the Sun in Gemini. Gemini marks a looking forward to Summer, everything a buzz as we move from the fixed Earth energy of Taurus to the mutable Air quality of Gemini, pure experience of our immediate environment, spontaneous communication, curiosity, potential. I am running into people I haven’t seen in 6 months, finding invitations to backyard gatherings and watching things grow in the garden. In November/December we prepare for more darkness and in May/June, more light.
This year, I am personally experiencing the Sun in Gemini as an awakening, a realization to the social animal that I am. I experienced some powerful loneliness this Winter, as the non-working primary caretaking parent of a baby and a four-year old. Some days were especially dark and even though I longed to feel less lonely, I avoided connection and instinctively turned further and further inward.
Now, I’ve emerged. Now I look forward to who I might see on my errands downtown. I’m thinking a lot about how I might better communicate the desire I have to strengthen acquaintances into lasting friendships. I’m also looking forward to short family trips, a few days away with my wife (no kids…. !) and learning more about where this new identity of astrologer will lead me. Gemini feels like a release, a blissful exhale.
As the Sun moved into Gemini the week before last, one of my closest friends came to visit while my wife was on a 5-day canoe trip with her students. Our friendship is very sibling like – I have no inhibitions when I’m with her. We talk and laugh a lot. We can also communicate without words. It was so restorative to have her here, connecting with the kids and making new memories. I rarely have that kind of connection with someone. I have less than a handful of friends that I can just “be” with. I read recently that in order to make a “real” friend you must first spend 90 intentional hours with them. I guess that explains why it’s harder for adults, especially adults with kids. In my current experience, everything must be intentional. Time and energy are scarce if not absent. This new Moon in Gemini on June 3rd offers some space, some potential, some awakening to what we’ve been sleeping on for the last several months. We can plant those seeds of intention to connect, communicate, learn, and renew in the fertile, rich compost of shared experience.
Thank you to those of you who read my post yesterday, liked my Facebook page and reached out directly. I am so grateful for the amazing community that I’ve found in Ithaca that now extends far beyond these 10 square miles, as well as for those I’ve known since way before moving here in 2007, for most or all my life. Without authentic experience of others, we will never know ourselves. As hard as it is for many of us to admit, being “ourselves” in the company of others is vital to growth and understanding in all areas. I’ll be the first to value my inwardness, I’ll never deny or suppress it, but it does feel good to not be defined by it right now